Disappointment - a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized
Today, I spent the majority of the day in the ER of Baptist Hospital. 13 miles or so into today's jog, I felt a sharp pang on my left lower leg...about an inch or two up from the flex point between the foot and the leg.
I stopped and took a look. Not seeing anything out of sorts, I walked a bit and then decided to continue to run. This run/walk/run/walk went on for a mile or so. By this time, my leg had swelled and started to change color. Bill and I chatted and agreed it looked bad enough to take a trip to the hospital.
Long story short. After an xray, an MRI and a few doctor chats, semi conclusions were reached. One, a suspected stress fracture along my ankle bone on the left foot. Two and potentially, a ray of hope, that it is just some inflamed tendons. A third idea, is potentially both have occured.
I have an appointment with a specialist tomorrow to figure out what exactly is going on. Either way, lots of swelling and tenderness rule the day.
My current thinking? I am obviously not having an emotional high. I am looking at 16 months of effort, 10 days of great progress, thousands of dollars spent, and my pride all in the face. When the doctor came back from the MRI saying "it is a stress fracture, your run is over", I teared up a bit before I was able to fight it back. My biggest fear is of not finishing this adventure. I don't want to be a quitter. I have invested too much in this to go down this way.
I am likely to try to run again the day after tomorrow, no matter what the Dr. says. Maybe not 50 miles, but I am going to try to see what my body will let me get away with. Two days worth of anti inflammatories and ice and maybe I can get back on the road.
That is my hope as I close this day.